I'm not a mortal combat character
but my vagina is
Anal astronaut?
Wow word travels fast.
i was in the bathroom puking my brains out, a girl walked in and said "i just came to do the same thing" so i told her i would move over and share the toilet. its better than being alone.
my step dad just called me a drunken slut..someone in my family finally understands me
I'm currently witnessing my drunk neighbor attempting to fold laundry on his front lawn. I think he's trying to spell out HELP.
I found out what happened to that girls weave last night. It was draped over a bush in my backyard.
What type of outfit says "I know you slept with my boyfriend before and are also way skinnier than me, but I look better...somehow"
Somewhere during foreplay he said something about me only being with two other guys... I just went with it cause we have never had that conversation...
I just ran into the married chick you banged 2 years ago at our apt! She asked me if I could get her coke! Memories bro. Memories
Just used the "Buddy" Poppy flower I got from a veteran to clean my one hitter. "I'm proud to be an American"
We stopped mid-sex and both shotgunned a beer then got back to it. Is this what love feels like?
I'm not trying to take your husband away from you, but can we have another 3way soon? I'm just desperate for good dick.
It's always appealing to be able to say to someone "I banged your mom"
If you're going to be single forever, you should try the quesalupas at Taco Bell.
I basically go to him for great dick and great memes.
Randomize
