im gay
i know
yea but for you.
LETS GET FUCKED UP IN ONESIES TONIGHT.
I worry about you sometimes...
How the fuck did I get small bruises all over my body?
Well you were laying on the couch naked after the girls left, staring into space, and I went over to the pool table and threw every ball as hard as I could at you from point blank range . You didn't flinch, blink, or scream for any of them. next time maybe you won't fuck my girl while I'm taking a shit
All I know is I woke up next to her beside the toilet
so i may have indirectly taught my 13 year old campers how to give blowjobs.
Nicee. Atleast your phone doesn't change pen in to PENISsSSSSSSS like mine does
One minute you were celebrating, the next you were bleeding all over your Nikes.
Just set out 2 water bottles as an offering to my hungover self.
I walked into Anna's room this morning and she was like teary eyed, with pizza sauce all over the place
I'm finally in my bed, my pants are off, and there's no pee on my carpet this is the best life has been all day
I'm eating shredded cheese and chugging coke, until I can function again. I'm tingling everywhere
She paid me 300 bucks to spank her and call her Baby Jane. Then we drank half a bottle of sippin whiskey. I'd call it a twelve out of ten.
Let's just say his oral game was lacking. Hell, lacking is too nice of a word to describe it.
Hahaha. I'm so high, this is gonna be so intense. Even the DVD menu scared the shit out of me.
How in the fuck did you get LIVE MOTHER FUCKING BATS!?!?! Into my ROOM last night????
Randomize
