new midget porn idea. Wizard of Jizz: Munchkins Revenge
He said "I know I'm not gay. I fucked a guy once and didn't like it"
I feel like i got beat with a pillowcase full of tequila shots.
please tell me i can get drunk off sparkling grape juice. even if you have to lie, please say yes.
I woke up with a half eaten bag of lettuce in my hand, wearing my Halloween costume from last year. Damn you tequila.
HELP A SISTER OUT. AND KEEP YOUR TONGUE OUT OF THE HUMMUS.
TOO HIGH TO FIGURE THIS SHIT OUT
I just made cupcakes.... Vodka icing. Results in the morning.
Pretending to be completely fried so the odd girl next to me doesnt suspect im simply staring at her.
What do you expect from her? Do you remember that creepy man she dated who saturated a pillowcase in his musky cologne and mailed it to her and she still slept with him.
He showed up to a booty call with 2 tea bags, but no condom...
You know it's bad when I'm eating a cold chicken breast alone in bed 😕
I don't think it's ever a good night if I'm this hung over and I didn't even get an orgasm out of the deal...
So she said she could really go for a cheeseburger and I remembered I had one in my pocket. No idea where it came from.
I fucked her on her ex's Yankee sheets while she was wearing an Ortiz jersey...of course she gets to meet my mother
Anytime you wish.we are doing double shots in the kitchen,and I drank a beer in the shower,so...the sooner you get here,the sooner you can get on our level.
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