You found a girl to hook up with at a gay bar?
No. His name was Paco. I didn't get it by choice. I never had a hickey before.
well that was a long night...
dude, you were pretty messed up... what happened?
no idea... but i still woke up with my pirate hat on
is it trashy that while he was throwing up in the bathroom, i was hooking up with his childhood best friend?
sorry I didn't call you. I had your number saved as "girl that offered bj but didn't follow thru".
they said he just opened the front of his shirt and threw up alll over himself
was it good sex?
i mean it was good for how drunk we were. and for how big the closet was
This is how I ended up being the slutty friend isn't it?
Is it 3pm? Or am I losing my mind because it's pickled in vodka and diet coke?
He just sent me a picture of himself naked while cooking pancakes and he made the caption "bitchin' in the kitchen"
Why must everything this weekend have to do with something going into or coming out of my vagina?
Birthday are for suffering. TAke some tylenol pm and day-drink tomorrow
I feel as bad as you right now. I'm about to use one girls car to go see another one
Fuck ya. But normally I drove one girls car picking up a different girl while texting another girl lol
It's the kind of dick you travel across the country for
I might have to quit marching band. It's affecting my drinking schedule
He’s going to a lawnmower race. I got a Brazilian and he’s racing a lawnmower race. Pick me up. I’m not wasting this waxing on John Deer
Randomize
