Don't come here someone got drunk and rolled the keg to buger king. no more beeer
mustard is like jesus in yellow tights
dude. i was so high. i watched shrek in russian.
I can honestly say I've never had orange soda poured on my vagina before, that's a story for the grand kids
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I found my phone outside under the leaves by the curb. What the fuck did I do last night
I went out as a member of the house of Gryfindor and came home as Snooki
Well he can play the xylophone with his erect cock... So he's got that going for him
Ok here's the state of the situation: We're alone in a strange city with strange people with nothing but alcohol and sprite, I think we're gonna make it.
I mean he gave me an 'I owe you an orgasm' fist bump
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Go forth my little lesbian, get your gayme on
I'm just gonna eat nachos and wine fruit forever.
Also the girl beside me smells like she's been in a deep fryer.
I can now recognize that when my wine bottle reaches a certain point, I probably shouldn't tweet, text or call anyone. RESPONSIBILITY
All that stuff they told us in middle school about drugs being easy to find was a bullshit lie.
If a weird guy texts you in the near future asking if you are satan just go with it
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