so this was truly a case of the blacked out leading the blacked out.
I took your shirt off for you after you threw up on yourself, read you the ugly duckling, and then tucked you in. you better fucking love me, jackass.
The usual. Woke up on a dog bed with peeps and $11.
Struggs. It's also 90 degrees out but I'm not sure I can feel heat or cold any more. Too hungover.
i'm taking a spore imprint of the mushroom we found growing in our bathroom and sending a picture to ryan. he will then be able to tell if it's trip-worthy
I've decided that my night was probably over when I started eating the penne vodka with my hands.
My dad, when he got home and saw me loading a bowl in the living room: "We have TWO beautiful balconies to get high on and you pick the couch?!"
We got Pizza Hut & Papa Johns, delivered within seconds of each other, and both delivery people did a shot. I was put on Earth for this moment.
I haven't been sober in 4 days.
Then be sober
No.
I woke up in a toga after going to a Hawaiian party. I don't even know.
If I die tonight, I want you to have the rest of my nachos. And my porn collection.
I sent him a cookie cake that said "Congratulations you're not a father"
I've spent my afternoon dipping strawberries in DayQuil if that's any indication of where I'm at in life.
I just had mom give me advice about how and where to store my lube in my shower. It was super awkward. Of course, she also walked in on me masturbating once so I guess turnabout is fair play
it was like 6 shots in and he was automatically my type
Randomize
