11:03 p.m. Whats a lie i you lovn me. Let's cuddle.
return my video game
just peed in the tub, threw it on Megan.. she threw more back, I got out and threw toilet water on her.. forecast for tomorrow? pink eye.
I keep getting texted pictures of my husband with other men. I can't figure out if he wants a divorce or a threesome?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He stopped responding after the animal pictures... I do this EVERY TIME.
If you take a couple more shots you won't even know he's a mormon that drives a mini van.
I think I'm drunk at the airport. Oh the possibilities
I didn't have toilet paper until 20 minutes ago. But I have champagne. Priorities.
Sometimes you just gotta get high and go to a planetarium. Why can't he understand that?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm glad you still love me even when I change pants in the kitchen and demand you spoon me
hahahaha classic. this is why you are going to a college with a hospital right next to it
They left a cherry picker with the keys in it on a college campus, what else were we supposed to do?
We decorated the tree, drank wine, and he went down on me with Christmas music on in the background. Christmas IS coming.
He just flipped the beer pong table and set the ceiling fan on fire things are about to get crazy
Is it bad form to puke out of a dorm window to avoid looking bad in front of the people in your room?
How about from a sixth floor window?
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