he clicked a button a stirrups came down from the ceiling... if I don't come home by sunday, report me.
Oh my god. I think I just sexted my mom...
What?!
Fwd: Ride me, you sleek sleek woman!!!
The only thing that would make my night better is if William Shatner came and read me a bedtime story.
At this point I feel like i'm never going to be sober, and it's frightening
Fine. Just this once and because its veterans day will I send you a picture of my tits. You're lucky I love this country.
and you think what you did last night was bad? at least you didnt go wake up a sleeping guy for birthday sex.
Resolution for 2011: blow jobs are a privilege, not a right.
Seriously how many times do I have to sleep with him before he stops calling me dude
Get this. He's a red head and he works at country oven bakery. He will forever be known as the gingerbread man.
Saying someone's good at giving head is like saying someone is good at pouring juice like there is that one girl who will spill it everywhere but for the most part it's not that hard to be good at
Hey I didn't mean to be all lemme get with your ex husband.
Well, at some point in her life every girl has to decide how much weird she's willing to tolerate for hot tall banker cock
Are you sexting with minion stickers right now?
We are literally scheduling phone sex... if that's not long distance af then i don't know what is
Its not something you can force it it just has to happen like a rainbow or pooping
Randomize
