His stupid grin looks like he's mid-ejaculation
does wine, beer, and vodka mix well??
dude, everything can mix, this is college.
Let me guess--your parents are cousins.
then I woke up and felt a boner that wasn't even mine. never taking 3am vodka again
I should have known there'd be issues when he included "beautiful soul" in our playlist
in the morning i found her name, number and address on one of the empty pizza boxes. also said "ps. if you find my shoes please mail to me."
Their car went through the first bag of wine on the drive up...clearly 6 bags was not enough.
Oh boy...do i want the 'something you can tell your mom in 10 yrs' version or the 'Im gonna call you a whore but be proud' version?
I can't drink with the moms anymore. All they talk about is lactating.
yesterday you declined a drink because you "didn't want to be responsible for it" ok kanye...
I think I'm goin to jail but either way I had a blast.
I've pulled 4 ticks off of me. This is the last time I suck dick in the wild.
I'm so sorry to hear about your grandmother. Also how many grams are in an eighth?
The ass gains better be worth it
I’m good. I learned that a guy ate the mushrooms that were growing out of his toilet, so there’s that.
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