How drunk are you??
I'm flawless.
My relationship with VH1 is so bittersweet
Hungover Fun Fact #4: Eating a grilled stuffed burrito WILL make you blow chunks in the ice maker at work.
so how was last night?
got high and had our usual talk about the definition of cole slaw. then tried to call the ramen noodle company and convince them why my face should be on thier packages.
Tequila bombs in champagne seemed like a good idea at the time.
I want him to be my next love. So I'm taking it slow
As in ill only blow him next week
The worst thing about it is now I have to find someone else to fuck in the library.
Weekend plan is a big bag of dope, delivery food, Bollywood marathon and masterbating my dick raw.
I'm not allowed back because I may or may not have insulted his beer. And the entire Czech Republic.
I threw up in my backpack last night, but at least it wasn't in the pizza box again
im drinking out of a pineapple, so yea.
Honestly at least you're not debating on whether or not you need to take plan b. But I can't because I spent all my money on pizza.
Who put my cat in the fridge?
Just blew on a shot of whiskey to cool it off, like it was soup...
Just confirming I will be washing my asshole at your house at approximately 2:45 tomorrow afternoon.
The strangest confirmation message ever sent.
Randomize
