I want to have your abortion
found a new level of pathetic. i watched a guy pick out cigarette butts from a jar that weren't completely finished. make sure you go somewhere in life.
we fucked to don't stop believing. most epic sex EVER.
She wrote me a poem titled "Penis Flower" and it wasnt a joke
your boyfriend is drunk and yelling to the bar that he loves his cats
yeah, its right past the deli mart where i showed my right tit for mozzarella sticks.
I had a dream that we erected a stage in our living room for "impromptu performances" how can we make this a reality?
The world is my kaleidiscope. I see whatever the alcohol wants me to.
I don't feel bad about fucking old guys. That's what I want. It's what I likeeeeee.
i cant believe we used adam and eve as a sexting theme last night
When you accidentally text the wrong guy for a dick pic and your surprised you get one In return. He just got on my "to do" list
Quick, I need a picture of your dick. Don't ask questions, just show me your genitals.
Your vagina needs to teach my vagina its ways.
Hey when you get home, can you do me a solid and throw one of your pregnancy tests on my bed?
EPT or First Response?
hot take: drunk me can walk through walls?
Randomize
