1:32 am: your girlfriend looks like a man
1:48 am: your uglier
We better get laid next semester cause I prayed hard
I even walked 30 feet with my eyes closed from two love rocks so that we get some cock
I'm pretty sure I'm almost gay. Like, I'd do it if I had no choice. Like, if i were in prison I'd try it.
She got her phone back last night. And the first thing I sent her was a picture of me pooping in a culvers bathroom
I need to keep friends like you around just in case hell grades on a curve.
I just shaved my vag with a razor my dad left when he was here a few months ago. Too hungover to think about the Freudian connotations
i have now been nicknamed the screamer on the first, third, fourth, & six floor by all the ra's. only two more floors to go before i cover the entire dorm.
I'm not sure if doing him was such a good idea. Yes the sex was good, but I'm scared I set myself up for failure in 2011 because he's the hottest guy. Ever.
This is the last weekend of getting drunk and having sex all nite with the plumber. I'm exhausted all weekend and I'm never going to finish the remodel at this rate
They were actually really boring considering how we met them.
howd you meet them?
They got shit-faced and decided to take a train to a city none of them had ever been to. We found them wandering the ghetto, with a bottle of gin and singing Disney songs.
First day of class and I'm in a bar drinking pitcher #3. Foreshadowing?
You know, I've never slept in a rug with anyone before you
Be here at 9 and look fabulous. We have drag queens to impress.
Happy Thanksgiving! Hope its not too awkward that your dad and your boyfriend are the same age.
He said he broke his back in 3 spots & my first thought was "there goes my booty call".
Did u have a 2nd thought
I need a new booty call.
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