There is a stranger person in my roommates bed...
I mean roof. it goes up. its important day. you should recongziw it.
You're drunk. Make complete sentences.
It's not luke its my birthday or anything. Mike, understand.
tonight would not even compare to the night i tried to pee in the living room
Tortellini makes me feel like I'm eating hundreds of little vaginas
I know this may seem inappropriate, but are you gonna bring any blow to the wedding?
All I need is the Internet and a place to drink.
Currently bleeding through my leggings. Not good. Not good at all.
Hospital.
I am invincible.
There's a lady here with a big bag of dildos. I'm not sure that's appropriate bar baggage but, I like her style
It's just unfortunate. She's a 28 year old woman who looks as if a pelican and ET had a baby. With braces.
I mean in all honesty I would let James Franco shit on my chest. End of story
I just don't wanna be that girl with no ride and no pants
MY HAND WILL BE UP HIS ASS IF HE DOES NOT APOLOGIZE FOR WHAT HE DID. IT WON'T BE THE GOOD-FEELING KIND OF "HAND-UP-ASS" EITHER.
I described my life as a 7 layer cake of death
I need an honest answer, no judgements. Would it make me a bad person if I fucked the other twin?
Just finished 151. Eating nutella off a spoon. Bring condoms.
Randomize
