OMFG I JUST SAW SOMEONE GIVING SOMEONE ELSE ROAD HEAD AND THEY HIT A POTHOLE. my day has been officially made.
living well may be the best revenge, but it doesn't hurt that my exhusband is now dating a BEAST.
How do you tell if you're on the terrorist watch list?
I just did the nutritional comparison between 2% milk and Bud Light Lime.. the beer had less calories, less carbs, and less fat. It's not looking good for milk in my life anymore
and you think what you did last night was bad? at least you didnt go wake up a sleeping guy for birthday sex.
Is it horrible that I want to keep my purple landing strip until after my gyno apt? I feel like someone beside myself should see it...
Kegger tonight. 10pm. $5 coverfor unlimited booze. Proceeds benefit nuns from Uganda. Bring friends. No shit.
Just quiet vomiting, and in between heaves she mumbled "be the pro"
I'm covered in sharpie and the girl next to me just said something smells like fried food. Hint: it's me. Why am I in class?
Sorry about the whole your mom seeing my face up your ass situation
I'm sorry I didn't respond. I had a shit day. However, I just masturbated to Adele's Rolling In the Deep while crying. It was oddly therapeutic.
They made up a new version of "Smash or Pass" called "I would(n't) let you sit on my face" to yell at the freshman
So we'll go out later for condoms and cake batter... aka grocery shopping for champions.
I'm studying. I have a really exciting life lol
It's hard to say that sarcastically after having sex in a movie theater
Actually, my eyes didn't start bleeding until the next day. So it was a pretty awesome night overall.
Randomize
