my debutante medallion kept hitting his balls when i went down on him
she said i was amazing, then i left to room to take the rubber off and came back to find her masturbating with my xbox controller while niko got a call from roman.
I feel like I got hit by a truck made out of Jack Daniels.
They should make a Rosetta Stone that allows men to understand what the fuck women are actually trying to say.
he told us the story of how he fought ketchup, mustard, and thomas the train engine all in one night. if that doesn't sound like an acid trip i dont know what does.
She gave me a foot massage with her tongue. I think we're both scarred for life.
Once I saw his penis, I knew I made the right choice
why is there a clump of hair nailed to my wall?
i don't know at this point bringing the fog horn might be a good idea...
So i'm in a museum and theres a punch bowl from 1765 with a picture of 3 men forcing the 4th to drink the punch bowl. Colonial hazing
He tied me to the bed, fucked me and left me tied up until he proved to his room mates that he actually fucked me. But other than that, best sex ever!
Head-banging is a very stupid way to injur yourself. But this opinion is also coming from somebody who can't walk right because they cut their asshole shaving last night, so it probably has little to no merit.
Like actually I will be single and sad and lonely for ever. Cheese will be my life partner. Robot sex is my future.
Literally, and I mean LITERALLY as in "not to be confused with a casual hyperbole", LITERALLY the day we broke up she slept with 3 different guys that night.
1) It's nice to see that the whole "English Major" thing is upping the quality of your rants 2) Have you considered that your dick was the cork holding her sluttiness in?
in the middle of telling this chick to sober up i was shotgunning beers. im gonna be ab awsome nurse.
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