I really liked your hair last night but that style makes it really hard to hold it while you puke
She went to college and exploded out of the slut closet.
Wow my backseat really seemed a lot bigger when we were 16
he sent her a picture of his penis to show that he "trusts her" or some shit like that..well she showed it to me, and let me just tell you..it looked like a freaking slug or something. creepiest penis i've ever seen. hands down
I don't know. The next thing I remember we were in the walmart parking lot making out.
you passed out when you kept trying to hold your breath during the underwater scenes of 2012
this bucketlist has just become an excuse for me to be slutty, and i'm not even ashamed
i find it unbelievable that you didn't think it was necessary to intervene when i started letting people autograph my body with spray tan.
Why did I wake up to grapes taped my ears ?
Sorry dude, we didn't want you to hear us. Seemed like a good idea at the time.
I want your cock.
All we are is dust in the wiiiiiiinnnnnnnnnnd
I ate pizza in bed, sans pants, and then carved a pumpkin. FUNCTIONING ADULT MOTHERFUCKERS!
Sometimes having a penis is like having a really stupid drunk best friend. You see it doing dumb shit but you're just not the one in charge.
Are you okay? You're not sitting at home on facebook. I'm worried about you.
It all started with a game of naked twister.
He ran out to tell us that somebody flooded the bathroom, then went back in there fell on his ass and asked why the floor was wet
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