if you dont talk to me in person you cant text me
i just posted a lake picture of you with a dead fish in your mouth. happy july 5th.
Just found out Brianna Frost the Pornstar goes to my school. Makes that $35,000 tuition that more valuable.
they were having a wine tasting so i tasted every wine...then knocked over an entire display of gourmet olives and was asked to leave... but they still let me buy my 6 bottles of wine before escorting me out
Well someone named our apartment "the eiffel tower" on facebook check-in so I think they know..
At one point I went looking for you and found you handcuffed to a chair. I'm pretty sure you handcuffed yourself. I don't know how you got there.
Dude. Zebras have bad attitudes.
How many strippers in the world do you think have had a debate with someone about the NRA?
Sometimes I love sober logical me. She makes rare appearances but when she does she shines.
I paid your brother in tostitos to drive me home.
Yeah play it cool maybe put in a kissy face though let him know you're giving an invitation for his dick
Idk she didn't seem that weird to me but I had just eaten an entire tray of jello infused with liquor so I could be wrong...
Nobody will take a lit match to your nipple without warning you this time. Pinky swear.
Last time I checked he was house sitting for his ex while she was out of town with some new dude. He was crying about how the guy told him to stay out of his whiskey while he was gone. That's whipped
Idk I think he's weird but he's also from Wisconsin so that might have something to do with it.
Randomize
