Considering the face that your still in jail Im gunna go with no.
I feel great
I just peed on a car
RAWRRRR IMA PURPLE DINO
dude i'm sitting right next to you.. stop texting me
Holy jesus god. My teeth taste like street.
From the crime scene it appears that I attempted to throw up into a candle.
I may have just serenaded the sadface couple sitting on a bench outside the dorm by singing Bye Bye Bye.
Her Grandmother felt me up AND paid for dinner. If she doesn't get her shit together I'm gonna be her Step Grandfather.
this speak and spell drinking game will be the death of us all.
I really want to text him and congratulate him on having a bigger penis than the guy I dumped him for, but I thought that might be awkward...
The water at the venue tasted HORRIBLE so I just kept drinking booze. It was like the medievals.
I have decided that today will be all about indulgence and hedonism.
But really- as the voice of your vagina I am BEGGING you to do it. If not for yourself than for your poor innocent puss
You walked in wearing nothing but a beekeeper mask
A guy who takes a plate of chicken tenders away from us is not to be trusted or slept with
I need to get laid. Right now that freshman frat pledge & my Econ professor are the leading candidates
That’s quite a spread
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