i'm stoned. there's a jazz trio playing outside across the street...scared that mike myers will appear & start yelling 'woman...WHOA MAN. WHOOOA MAN.' i'm snapping my fingers.
there's something so ridiculous to me about watching someone with glasses exercising. it's like watching a whore studying in the library. stop trying to be someone you're not.
I had fun. Till he melissa etheridged my ass and came to my window.
He posted on my wall. Idk if I'm ready for that big of a commitment.
okay, certainly we can't screw this up, and even as I type, I know we will
btw when he was trying to sleep i was apparently poking him in the face w my 'flipper' slurring random manatee facts
A baby just go on our party bus. What. The. Fuck.
Yes. I am getting trashed on an open tab while judging a karoke competition
Impressive. I approve.
I have no idea. But that is beside the point bc in vegas I'm a pro vball player from Ireland and a veterinarian on the weekends
In the pictures there's a flower in my hair and also a lobster, I need those things explained
Please write a memoir and name it "Game Boy and Dick Stuff"
I ate a hotdog off the ground last night.
She puked off the side of the cruise ship onto a newlyweds balcony table and they watched it all happen then they made her clean it up
I am pants-free in the living room. This is liberating.
I woke up completely naked in a mint condition 71 chevelle in someones garage. What.
Randomize
