i just realized that we are the poor version of bethenny and jill from real housewives... and I'm jill. this is a 6.5 on the depressing scale
at least we're not in new jersey
Stop staring at my boobs, I can't concentrate
Well how do you think I feel
fair enough
You were chewing up hot dogs and spitting them out
WHY IS EVERY MAN IN THIS CITY GAY? IS IT SO BAD TO WANT TO BE TREATED LIKE A PIECE OF SHIT BY A REALLY HOT STRAIGHT MAN FOR A NIGHT?
damn. i can't believe how fast that went from 0 to lesbian
My younger brother just got high fives from all my guy cousins for fucking my best friend. I hate family gatherings.
I just hope when I turn 21, it doesn't tank my entire semester.
I just tried to make cleaning gasoline off your shoes with toilet paper in the Chemistry Building bathroom look normal. I failed.
I've counted four places at work I need to get laid in. Come help me accomplish this.
Hey, I'm your guy
Jesus, you make out with one twin then sleep with the other and suddenly they don't want to play soccer with you... So sensitive...
I'd rather have snapchat than feelings.
Celebrated Veteran's Day by getting a Marine (who just got back from deployment in the middle east) drunk and laid for the first time in 6 months. #Murica
Your boyfriend being in jail is really helping my social life! #GotASingleDrinkingBuddyAgain
He's on the porch naked. Help.
Dont care about too tired for sex, thank you for leaving your laser pointer. I have now determined both my cats are stupid.
Randomize
