Ever since I got married, I've become the MacGuyver of masturbation
There is a distinct lack of front teeth here.
A homeless man walked up to me at the bar, pointed, and told me to get my shit together. Jesus?
I'm pretty sure "tag teaming" and "looking for stability" are not synonymous.
Not yet.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
its 2pm. u awake yet?
ill text u back later. still peeling fingernail polish off my face.
Did I run away from you last night?
Yeah it was a great moment for our friendship
..puke & rally mid art final. HAPPY CINCO DE MAYO!
well. can officially check "get caught having sex on the front porch by the neighbors" off the bucket list.
Please tell me I was just dreaming when I asked if I could borrow your jesus dildo
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i don't find him as attractive when he's dressed as himself...bring back Indiana jones and I would so fuck him again
Spending Thanksgiving making a swinging profile brings the day to a whole new level...
There's not really an emoticon that says "I'm sorry I honked your boobs, and that you weren't a fan of that."
He's gonna do me a solid for doing her a solid. It's like pay it foward. But with sex.
I'm not even 100% sure what it is, but if it involves Thor and Doritos, I'm in
Why is there a horse in the backyard?
I stayed at my gfs last night. This is all on you.
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