yeah, we don't understand. the wings losing for guys is like girls finding objects in their body..just weird and sad
you'd think with how big her nose is she'd have a better smelling pussy..
woke up this morning with pubes superglued to my face, not my pubes
The smiley face on that pregnancy test is so damn taunting. It's like it's laughing at me for my poor choices.
We stayed in and smoked weed and watched Dreamgirls. We made each other's vaginal lips sing the songs. Mine was Beyonce, hers was Jamie Foxx. I think this is one of those times you're jealous you're not an awesome lesbian.
You missed out on a serious adventure. Cops were called. We put a chicken in someones house.
I mean... It's a win/win situation. I mentor the kid for an hour and then I get to fuck his mom. I know deep down I'm helping them both
...then she kept trying to make balloon animals with my flacid penis. I'm never drinking whisky with you again.
...im seriously confused as to why this doesn't make sense to you. Girl hostage, rob casino. Makes perfect sense.
We literally just Chinese fire drilled so I could give him road head.
Do you always skip to "Baby Got Back" when fat girls show up at the bar?
I know him enough to fuck him but not enough to give him advice.
I was walking out of the bar when he said I'll see you later and I said I'll see you in my dreams and then fell face first and broke my nose
And you hate the library
Yea but I love drugs and my grades
I learned three things this morning. Don't get out of my car without my keys, don't let a girl paint my nail unless I'm getting laid by said girl, and lastly I learned how to break into my own car.
Randomize