No, we're smoking outside. We're hot boxing the world.
I need a secretary to manage my drinking schedule.
6 other girls and I took an ice cream truck to the bar when we couldn't get a cab. Best birthday ever.
He offered to drive me out of state to meet up with my fuck buddy. Like best brother in law ever.
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There's always time for handjobs
i think if i got caught drinking at work i could get away with it if i started crying and saying my cat just died. as long as i'm confident.
i can feel the knowledge leaking out of my brain
replace it with alcohol - nature abhors a vacuum
And then I told him since the day he walked away to get over what I went through he lost the boyfriend right to ask why my bed is broken.
I take full pride in being the one that broke ur bed. Want to go for the sofa?
I have enough bourbon in me to put Justin's cat in the dishwasher.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Trust me.. Might look gay.. Might feel gay... But I could snap your neck with my inside thighs bro
what do we think the timeline is for when your liver will begin to revolt against your drinking habits?
I don't even care that it's before church. I feel like God actually wants me to have this shower beer.
Yeah last night got weird fast. No lie, a kid pulled a butt-plug with a tail out of his ass.
Awake! can you bring me my pants...im under the couch
mother daughter bonding time. she's helping me make jello shots.
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