I did the walk of shame to another booty call
I don't think that should turn me on, but it does
Microwaved placenta is very unpleasant.
She's got an ass you could write the declaration of independence on in one line. Takes up three bar stools.
You stuck the head of a rubber chicken you found in her house up your ass and then started running around her living room. Naked.
shes trying to light up her bowl in front of the fan. everytime it blows it out she just gives it a dirty look.
He was legit dry humping me to the sportscenter theme song, awkward i think SO.
Remind me never to take that much Vicodin ever again. I laid in bed measuring my heart rate for an hour and a half because I was afraid it would stop.
remember how i yelled at you for inviting that coke dealer to the party?! i found the $100 bill they were snorting with in the couch.
..new slutty dresses or booze? i won't even waste time with the i told you so.
we had break-up sex in a port-a-potty. how do you think it went?!
I think I just gave my niece a weed pinata...
Oh it's tea and biscuits for everyone. An possibly pink eye
The struggles of a small town man whore
DELETE THAT VIDEO OF ME MAKING OUT WITH THAT RUG NOW
she was concerned about my dick piercings.
he stopped mid makeout and said "can I pray for you?"
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