I feel odd... a had sex with a chick and she keept her socks on...
Best look from Detroit today: running across the street with your buttcheeks on display carrying a 40 oz. Or maybe being crazy-pregnant and screaming and slamming a pay phone. Toss up.
at a bar and heard one girl tell another her tampon string was showing she goes i dont want it in anymore anyways. then proceeds to pull out her tampon in the middle of the bar and leave it on a plate. ewwww
She asked me how I live with myself. I told her one night at a time.
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This wouldn't happen so much if fat girls would just stop being so damn easy.
I dunno if we should get high tonight man. its daylight savings. time travel is just too much for me right now.
I'm playing a little game called "how many shots of jack can I take before I become a shit show tonight". All front row seats are sold out.
We went to the casino to try to earn enough money to go to new Orleans comfortably. I'm already drunk. This is a horribly immoral start to summer.
ALWAYS CAPS LOCK. IS THERE EVER A SITUATION THAT DOES NOT CALL FOR CAPS LOCK? NO.
Sexting? Sexting in caps lock seems rather unnerving.
I WANT YOUR BODY AND I WANT IT NOW.
I rest my case.
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I'm proud of you, you were pretty classy last night, you didn't puke AND you didn't take off your shirt, except for those two times in the corner.
Using Michelob Ultra as champagne.
College: when you wake up drunk without pants and wearing a Cosby sweater
I just spent the better half of my Friday night alone, naked eating McDonalds. Not my worst start of a new year
I've only fucked to 2 Fleetwood Mac songs, that must be why my life feels so empty.
It's becoming clear to me that I am not sugar baby material. I don't think I could handle old balls long term.
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