She looked like her face caught fire, and someone put it out with a screwdriver.
We're playing Big Buck Hunter to determine who buys the next pitchers. And they said video games wouldn't help me later in life
So I used the "I've never cummed from a BJ before" line last night.
And that worked?
9 for 9! Not only does it give them a goal but they have a sense of accomplishment afterwards.
U asked everyone for their hoodies so u could "safely hug the cactus"
Saw on the news tonight that Hamilton county's syphilis rate is 9x the national average...use protection!
Thanks, mom.
I kind of feel like BP. I'm dressed in green and absolutely horrible for the environment.
it doesn't matter, he's just a life support system for his dick
I have vodka and a slip n slide so of you could come over that would be great
mike is out of commission and cannot make breakfast. he's sitting with two frozen waffles on his face & smiling like an idiot.
Guess who just made out with Sloth from The Goonies!
No, supporting your unemployed boyfriend IS NOT what credit cards are for.
We joked about how funny it would be if he got pulled over with 300 breakfast burritos in hus car. We walk outside of the school just as the police lights turn on and pull him over
Our house drank 90 beers yesterday afternoon before 8pm so add that to the list
Do you remember coming over and asking for toast and then singing that yeah toast song very loudly while you were dropping my bread all over my kitchen?
I just feel weird about accepting their wedding invite when I've got a post-engagement video on my phone of him jacking off in my bathroom.
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