When I saw him standing at full height, I realized exactly how much his body structure reminds me of his penis.
then again I'm sitting on a tree stump completely naked in the dark listening to some type of glee soundtrack.
Birthday Coupon: This text is good for alteast 3 hours of Birthday Sex. Redeamable any time, anywhere, and any style.
I don't want to smoke with her when she's on adderall. She carved her pumpkin for four hours & didn't say a word.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There was a staple in my grits at waffle house last night. My knees are bruised as hell. And I puked pink all over my bathroom. Gooood night.
Be careful. Don't drive if your body turns into a caterpillar again.
He puked in the funnel and continued to chug it. Who is this dude?
I ended up naked with smirnoff caps on my nipples. Dignity is now a completely foreign concept to me.
YOU KNOW BRAZILIAN BOYS ARE MY WEAKNESS
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
just so you know.. snorkeling hungover: great decision. I was throwing up and he couldn't even tell!
I ate 1200 calories worth of chocolate covered marshmallows and googled why it is okay to be single forever
I think I’ve been affected by his dad mustache. I wanna ride it.
Let me just get through this whole court subpoena thing and then ill go back to buying alcohol for minors.
U dont jog and buy condoms n bulk
Started my new year off by being hospitalized with pneumonia. You?
Found out I'm pregnant.
I'll stick with pneumonia.
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