spencer pratt says his family invinted chess
that kid is like the al gore of hollywood.
we better have passed that bar exam - i dont want to have to drink like this again
We fucked twice, I went to the bathroom to freshen up, and came back to him playing "Your Body is A Wonderland" on his guitar naked in my bed.
hot pretzels for dinner, snacks, and now breakfast...oh to be a poor college student...everyday is like a carnival.
my little brother just told me that I should start chasing my vodka with slim fast. genious.
Another one? Damn, how many David's is that?
six.
Oh, I thought it was higher.
No, that would be the Matt's
After I gave him a handjob for a half an hour he told me I should be a taxidermist. I'm gonna take it as a compliment.
I don't appreciate the fact that you tagged me as a giant bucket Miracle Whip.
Good thing I took the morning after pill cuz I pretty much had packaged seamen in me like I was a squirrel saving it for later or something
He had bigger boobs than me last night and we both weren't wearing a bra so it was a fair judgement
I just contemplated drinking cheese dip. And by "contemplated," I mean "attempted and was forcibly stopped from."
You must take up my position now. You must pass out in awkward places as I taught you... Sears a hotel elevator and Burger King bathroom. You potential for greater young grasshopper.
I don't have any soul left to be crushed.
i'm gonna crowd surf you onto his dick
the raccoons are back...
Randomize
