Do I need to let your sister outside to go pee or anything before I leave?
i need you to recap everything for me beyond "i think i'm gonna try vodka-pong"
I have a beer in one hand and a slim fast in another. It's another one of those wednesday nights.
mary just dropped the yahtzee dice in her wine. and shes throwin em like shes on a craps table.
hahahaha slap the bag.
Its what happens when I drink whiskey in a sweater. It makes me feel mature and ponderful.
I don't know what kind of soup they made, but it smells like condoms.
I bet it kind of sucks while you do community service I'm getting blown in the shower. haha
Abby spilt her vodka all over the train's bathroom floor
WE'RE THE ONES DRESSED UP FOR THE LARGEST DRINKING HOLIDAY IN AMERICA WHO ELSE ON THIS TRAIN IS A SUSPECT FOR THIS SMELL?!
Some lady just walked up to me in the bar and proclaimed that I looked like a "shady motherfucker." Can't argue with that one.
My jeans are ripped and her glitter was all over me.. My walk of shame looked like I fucked a unicorn last night
Dang. We need a girls trip ASAP. Preferably in a country who has even lower standards than us on a Friday night.
So, just saw a lady hysterically sobbing in a Walmart at 3 AM. Someone's not having a happy mother's day.
You gotta have 1 orgasm for me and the rest can be for you. I'm living vicariously through you 😂
His phone started ringing when we were pulled over and he said 'hold on, this is most likely more important than you', proceeded to answer it and agree to work sunday, then hung up, looked at the cop and told him to continue.
he had a cock ring. i orgasmed before he even put it in
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