trsut me youll find me, im the only kanye west here and every1 is chanting dbag at me
For looking exactly like her, she tasted less like her sister than I would've thought
She just kept saying "bless your heart" to him while he cried because he came so fast. I think a Texas woman was just what he needed
Yay for living on the edge. I'm trying this new thing where I stop mom-arming people and promote bad decisions. It's working quite well.
We had sex in the bathroom. Good sex. Toilet breaking sex.
I am in his childhood bedroom and I feel like his trophies are applauding me and his stuffed bunny is disgusted with me. Did you know he was a mathlete?
He also turned out to be underage (the fucking liar) so we had to get drunk on cooking sherry
Is valentines day the worst or best day to ask for a threesome? I'm weighing some options on this high-risk manoeuvre.
Rule travel - in 2s or put an ankle monitor on me, and maybe a shock collar.
Woke up in a bathtub with both of my legs broken. How was your night?
I went to Walmart last night to buy some CDs--which is a sentence I never thought I'd say in 2016.
See I insist I'm not a groupie and then I say things like "will bang for a backstage pass".
That was the best shit ever it was like an exorcism for my colon
ONE DAY CAN WE PLEASE HAVE SECRET SEX. PREFERABLY IN AN ANCIENT PYRAMID BUT I'M NOT OPPOSED TO A 4 STAR HOTEL
Okay she just told me to turn the volume down on the fan. What does this even mean?
Randomize
