toast her oven
toast her strudel
inspect her gadget
Well, McDonalds 'escorted' me out after I passed out mid-order
First funeral I've ever been to where the cops had to come.
I think we need to find a happy medium between fried food and dicks. This could end badly.
it's been dubbed the summer of antibiotics
well I have to shit but I'm too hungover to push, and I snorted advil so I wouldn't have to swallow it and throw up.. hungover is an understatement.
bad night - i tried for naughty librarian but could only manage to pull off pissed off barrista.
Honest opinion...too aggressive to bring the funnel out to the bar? Also just so you know im at the bar. with the funnel.
i dont know whats weirder. that i told him he stabbed me in my dream or that he told me i wasnt the first girl to tell him theyve been killed by him in a dream
You kept saying you only wanted to drink until you were sleepy. You succeeded if "sleepy" means you sleepied around with 4/6 of the guys there.
This place is full of unfortunate mustaches.
Dude. She was wearing nothing but Wonder Woman panties and a flag for a cape and sneaking around leaving PBR's by passed out people for the morning. She called herself the 'Merica Fairy.
Why haven't you proposed already?
Yeah just pls explain the dishes and the dildo. I don't want to lose my job over a dick in the cooler.
When creating your wedding guest list do you put the girl you & your fiance had a threesome with under your friends or his friends?
Can you see if my straightener is in your refrigerator?
Yes. Its here..
Randomize
