So, during a 20 minute shower I spent 19 minutes spinning in circles and 1 minute licking the wall, and it was better than sex. I can't wait to do X again.
We came back and there was a shotglass filled with what looks like blood. Come over soon, we're gonna try it out.
The last thing I remember is trying to split my bridesmaid dress down the back like the incredible hulk.
and you succeeded.
I have no idea what to do about this. He has a power over me and I think its called his tongue.
Weve literally been going out drinking five days a week. That counts as a full time job right?
Yeah. You can ask him out. We're just fuck buddies. My vagina will be sad but your heart can be happy.
You. Me. Frosting and a bed. Lets do this.
He filled four shots of Everclear and walked around saying "FREE VODKA SHOTS". he is to blame.
Go for it! You're young. Have fun. Be somebody's expensive hobby like Anastasia Steele.
guy next to me on the train just pulled out two bottles of gin and a block of cheddar. is slowly making his way through all of them.
his daughter has his phone and goesss ohhh boobies and shows me a picture of my own tits...
I really have to stop going to the movies high. Spending $10 to not know what the fuck is going on is starting to get pricey.
I'm just to the point my give a fucks is so far in the red that I'm going to have to take out a 30yr loan of fucks to repay it
Honestly who turns down a free blowjob?
How don't you remember..? You were getting handfuls of skittles out from our bra screaming TASTE THE RAINBOW.
Randomize
