Nothing says "I love you" like a full raw dog.
Theres just something about looking at pictures of your dick in church that doesn't feel right
He also gave me two gold stars for sex. On my nipples.
I threw up in my closet when I was hammered last night. Like a fucking toddler. I can't play with the grow ups.
I have tan lines from my nipple rings.
Officially crunch time. It's my last year of grad school and I've yet to get blown in a school library. The parking garage was less than a block away though.
If she's over 40, she won't believe you if you say " I'm only going to put the head in"
I was like, booze is the closest thing I have to a father. Don't pour daddy down the sink
I have bits of ceiling fan all over now
Oh my god. We just got locked out of our cabin and went to the neighbor's to see if they had a key and caught the neighbor jerking it. My night > your night
I mean, I've had her boob in my mouth, but is that romance?
Do him. As soon as possible and as often as possible. That's what Oprah would say
Do normal couples celebrate occasions naked with Chicken McNuggets and BBQ sauce?
she grabed my junk and started making lightsaber noises
I wonder if you could get her in a metal bikini
Omg. I'm living macklemores best life. I have someone's granddads dog, I'm about to have someone's grandmas car. I look incredible.
Randomize
