I think condoms have that nasty latex smell to remind you in the morning of how gross you are.
Should I go home with him even though I know my Run DMC undies have skid marks on them?
I just did the classiest thing ever.
last time you said that you got chlamydia.
He honestly told me my belt was "supercute" when we started hooking up. I would be the girl to find the only straight man in the world that uses the word "supercute".
What was the name of the cook I had sex with at Famous Dave's?
i dont know what was worse.. snorting the wasabi or puking on the neighbors dog
I swear the pregnant cashier was jealous when I bought my plan B
thank you for reminding me that I stumbled into a public place drunk at 9am wearing a chicks pants.
My dad and I just got asked if "we wanted a more intimate setting for our date". The world is coming to an end.
umm, I just masturbated to old Justin timberlake on MTV jams. in need of dick ASAP
Dude just the look on his face when she sat down next to him, threw one leg over his, and just said "so..." was fucking amazing
I convinced a girl making out is a secret handshake
If I make it home without being sick in this captain's hat it will be a fucking miracle.
Emergency. I brought a boy home and we fell asleep, but I just woke up to him peeing against my bedroom wall. So I brought him to the bathroom but he fell over and he's sleeping in the tub. Can I leave him there? Because that's what I've done.
Better the hardwood than the carpet, right?
On a scale of 1 to i should hide, how deep did i dig my grave?
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