I was happy to be the center of attention..until i realized why everyone was staring
walked right past julianne moore (on her walk of shame this morning) god i love new york. :)
I wish his dick was as long as his hair.
when she asked where we met, i said the liquor store. the next words out of moms mouth? 'oh that's real promising molly'
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Its become more of a routine.. Whenever I get done eating and have left overs I just take it over to his house and throw it all over the walls and windows. Pay backs a bitch ehhhh
This isnt meant to be as creepy as it sounds, but do you seriously want a lock of the hair I cut off?
btw theres a pine tree in the downstairs shower. the guys thought it would be a great free air freshener.
Please don't smoke the bong in the bathroom while you shit. It is not a shitting bong.
Do you have any pix of it limp? I wanna see the metamorphosis, like a cock caterpillar turning into a giant beautiful cock butterfly!
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WHY ARE THERE NO BLACK EMOJIS? I CAN NEVER PROPERLY IDENTIFY MYSELF.
Oh no. Not her. Her personality clashes with mine in ways that would make me wanna beat myself with a stick.
She came 4 times, called me a god, then made me breakfast. I don't think she is ever going to leave
I HAVE A FLAME THROWER. COME SEE IT. IT’S SAFE AND WORKS.
I'm wearing jeans from 7th grade and drinking a fucking macchiato. This better be a good day.
I want to disappear from this job like a fart in the wind.💨
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