Seriously, stop being so datable w your movie/song prefs
Now I know how you felt every time you had to listen to me have sex with a girl... mildly disguested yet marginally proud.
They upped the price of Plan B! Rite-aid is going to be the reason I have illegitimate kids.
He went down on me in his escalade and his dick is bigger than my forearm. I'm never going back to white guys.
I officially lit my glove on fire while lighting the bong. Winter needs to end.
I could barely talk to the cabbie and I was text bombing everyone. They need to make an auto timer app to prevent people like me from belligerent late night harrassing. And I was seeing double... Prob would have tried to give your leg a bj and then fallen down the stairs.
i'll booty call him tonight after the radiohead concert, that way he can see his favorite band and his favorite vagina all in one night.
No, they seem attractive after SIX beers, after three they're just the gender you're looking for.
The airport has the best people watching and munches... It should be a destination drinking location
he kept insisting he didn't have my number, so i called his phone and my number came up as "yeaaaaaaaaah!"
Guy fieri is speaking only to me. We make eye contact. My whole body is vibrating. My head is purring. I am literally marbles.
Just get over here and light metaphorical fireworks in my literal vagina
I got dropped off at my house at like 1030. Woke up hugging a street cat I've never seen before. Ended up drinking 260 oz of beer. 65 types. Then went out after blehhhhhh
Had sex in a blanket fort. How was your weekend?
the funny thing was, all i remember was a liter of vodka and going to oneonta for the night. then 2 weeks later bam, i get a letter banning me from campus for the next 4 years. awesome convorsation with my dad to wake up to.
Randomize
