im surounded by vag. Like smog aound LA, i am suffocating in an atmosphere of pussy
i got kicked out of Barns and Nobles cuz i put all the bibles in the fiction section
Alli causes anal leakage. You can find someone to like you if you are fat but no one will like you if you poop yourself.
Who pooed in my magic bullet?
Sorry the bathroom was being used.
where does the pee come out of this thing
cutting back on calories before spring break by only taking shots instead of drinking actual drinks.
the diet of an alcoholic...
Thats why you always identify the subtext of a blowjob before you accept it.
She looks like a junkie muppet...awful
Well sorry I accidentally spooned your mom and possibly threw up on you
It was drunk tag. I was Alice in wonderland chasing a ballerina who was chasing Lance Armstrong who had needles in his arms.
Oh and yeah that does count as public urination.
Totally just made a post sex emergency cupcake run. My life is awesome.
& he told me that I give the best head ever.. like can I get that on a medal?
Also, asking the guy who just told you he is crippled on edibles to watch your kid is probably frowned upon by most
it was a 'fall asleep on the bathroom floor after puking bc the cold tile is legit more comfortable than your bed' kind of night.
Randomize
