No, when he said that he wished he had my eyebrows, THATS when I knew he was gay.
i was more sad about losing him as neighbor on fishville than as a boyfriend
I'm driving to work with an ice pack on my vagina. how was your weekend?
I woke up this morning and saw that I had transferred $0.75 from my savings account to my checking account.
he wrote me a grocery list while i was passed out. every other item was gin. it went on for 4 pages.
She just had to change the song on the radio cause I was tap dancing on her windshield
I don't know what he did to me, but he did it wrong. I think my pelvis is broken. I cant even drive without it hurting. What. The. Fuck.
Are we playing "how much awkwardness can we fit in the final 29 hours of 2011"?
yes yes we are. Go do something with super glue. i don't want to win.
I mean I just feel if I'm not being fat and lazy then I'm not really being myself
how fucking stupid do you have to be to think I'm going to accept your friend request months after falling asleep during one night stand sex?
i sent him a nude and he responded 6 hours later
what did he say?
"oh m god,,, whow '!!!!nm"
Got baptized for New Years. In champagne and cheap vodka.
they call themselves the foursome.. thats def means they're up for one right?
I asked what it takes to be a good delivery driver, my new boss said "always keep these in your vehicle" as he handed me a flashlight and a blunt. I'm going to like this job.
I just learned that I could drop out of school and spend the rest of my savings on a giraffe are you free this weekend
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