it seems that i get a boner from just about everything now
No, I can't hang out with Dave because he already has a girlfriend. The one with the tatoos of cherries on her "cherry." Yeah, she doesn't really make me feel spectacularly comfortable.
Thanks for the birthday present, i had so much fun playing with it
Are you talking about my vagina?
I don't want to smoke with her when she's on adderall. She carved her pumpkin for four hours & didn't say a word.
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We found a swing set....it's in the front yard.
Just caused a nice traffic jam while trying to park at Costco. Too high to drive.
What a dumb baby whore.
the fat guy in me is very excited, and the skinny guy in me is very excited for the fat guy in me
I'm pretty sure male strippers are the last things I need in my life right now.
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P.s. I loved that your balls smelled like coconut
But no. So do not give him one damn penny. Unless they are in a sock and you are hitting him with it.
you know you're in deep when you watch fear and loathing in las vegas and every damn scene is relatable.
Like every two minutes he would pull out and whipser "don't you do it, you bastard" while looking at his penis. His new name in my phone is 'penis whisperer'
That awkward moment when you bring a guy back to your place then have to tell him you only have magnums.
Can you dump a guy for having pierced nipples or is that shallow?
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