Why do girls always cry at the bar?
What's the point of going out if you're going to cry all night?
Are they having an exestensial crisis at the bar?
So I just found panties on our kitchen floor that had a slit in the vagina section. Does that mean shes open for sex, or she has a penis?
I’m once again drinking at eight am on a Sunday in my tutu. This garment is literally my best purchase ever.
Any girl that compares her vag to a hot ham sandwich is beyond a slut
This girl in my class is wearing a sweatshirt that says "LEAD ME NOT INTO TEMPTATION" ahaha I almost just laughed out loud. We could never be friends
Whatever, she only has 293 friends, she cant afford to be defriending me..
I'm pretty sure God is rooting for me with this two gf thing
I don't really want to explain to you right now but i just ate laundry detergent
Houston, we have a blender
I made him ride the giant pony statue in my friends little sisters room before i let him get in the bed.
I'm pretty sure I swallowed a whole condom
Think of something healthy and responsible. Now think of the exact opposite, let's do the latter
I thought adderall would sober me up, but it did NOT.
He broke his arm in a fistfight with the bouncer. it was neat.
We fucked on the roof... like that has to mean something
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