Maybe you should have studied instead of worrying about who is going to have sex with you
the dr. explained that the first big patch is called a herald patch since it's biggest. So his name is Harold the Patch.
Wow. You named your rash.
You only like me because I'm a challenge
You already blew me
The vibrator you gave me is probably the one thing I will never give up if we got robbed at gunpoint
Also, new rule: You are no longer allowed to send me a text with the word "dildo" in it before 10am.
We don't have a lot of plans besides weed and cake
I haven't found him passed out in the living room covered in noodles for a while now so I guess he's getting better with the drinking.
Only once have I found myself in the condom aisle holding a bundt cake...
Not my man #1 and if he likes it then he should put a title on it. Till then the gates of hell. Aka my vagina are open for entrance.
I'm confident that their children would come out as 100% authentic rats
Definitely just realized I wore a shirt that says "building leaders for Christ" to a hookup. Roll tide.
Just gave candy to a strange child. Not my best move.
My car has a permanent smell of sex to it now.
It still amazes me Mike had to have neck surgery after eating me out so much.
And tell your penis that we can hang out tonight for sure.
Randomize
