literally followed a trail of condoms to the bus stop this morning. Ahh modern-day bread crumbs
Do you think most people who work at an airport Chili's can pin point where their lives went wrong?
Showering in the handicapped shower. Im THAT hungover.
No, pictures of your dick will not make me feel better about my grandmother having a brain tumor.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Did you rob me and blame it on the strippers?
Oh I already celebrated valentine's day. I stayed up until 4 AM listening to biggie, drinking rum, and caressing all my girl curves in front of the mirror. And then I came 3 times.
Carrying your underwear around in your purse on Sunday morning is its own religious experience
He stumbled into my room, flopped on my bed, shoes on my pillow and asked me for a juice box. Then fell asleep with the juice box on his forehead.
Hypothetically how does one go about throwing away a dildo?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He told me his cum shot melted the paint on his bedroom wall and asked if I want to see it
are we fucking for lunch or am I using my vibrator ?
the evidence suggests last night I either took a bath in beer or drank 18 beers while in the bath. either one sounds good to me. sad i don't remember it
Let's celebrate our country being screwed by screwing.
Does anyone remember last night? Because I still don't know why I now own a goldfish and a ceiling fan made of pizza?
I smell like Dick and happiness
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