Black lace...the rest is up to ur imagination
just wrote on a church. and then stalked a boy, by the way, i fucked him. him being your friend, also, love tacos.
you ever wonder how lesbians feel about girls being in relationships with other girls on facebook? could it annoy them more than it annoys me?
Someone said we're out of ice. You collapsed on the spot and started sobbing, saying 'but where will all the polar bears live". That drunk.
Decided to go explore a half built apartment complex at 4 a.m and leave a 3 block obstacle course in the alley ways on the way home.
She said she liked strap-ons.
SHE WAS TALKING ABOUT SHOES, YOU ASSHOLE! YOU'RE THE WORST WINGMAN EVER!
Welp just pooped in a garbage can. Guess I'm not better than you at life in any aspect.
You are COMPLAINING that the sex was too good. You're not getting any sympathy from me
Owwwww. Yeah. I can barely move unless Im high on vicodin. We are bad at drinking/balancing. We will be the first to break hips and have to go into a home.
idk man, I was fucked up and eating fried rice at the grocery store, tried to wave at her but she just looked concerned at me.
I'm watching Part of Your World now and I'm crying and I feel like I'm floating right along with her. This. This right here is some drunken Disney Magic
Currently googling hangover cures, which looks a lot like working from the perspective of my boss.
I legitimately thought he died. I even called his mom at 3am and told her. Im done with vodka.
Dude 4th of July week was our like 5th anniversary of you sending me dick pics ❤️
My psychiatrist just sent me a dick pic
Randomize
