i just remembered that i beat off next to you while we were naked and passed out next to each other after last night... No Homo
I'm getting drunk watching the disney channel. Is this a main reason why we aren't together anymore?
Then you got really excited when I upgraded you from puke bowl to puke bucket.
he is so annoying
so stop sleeping with him
yeah but he is so hot when i'm drunk
He booked his flight from Dallas already, no ticket to the game, said hes gonna bang some girl at tailgait to get a ticket, I had to explain that it will be sub 20 degrees F during tailgate, he decided to come in july instead, Texans are dumb.
Thank you, bloody toiletpaper I found in the hamper. I was worried that today was going to be boring.
Hey got that picture this morning. 1. clean your room 2.what happened to your nail? and 3. your penis is amazing,.
I like how our relationship transcends the borders of inappropriateness and encompasses all the colors of the inappropriate rainbow.
Does it make me immature that I debated going to this baby shower stoned, or am I normal as shit and everyone our age are having babies too young?
We haven't been trashed enough to shut down a bar together in four days. I'm starting to worry that we're growing apart.
fond memories of taking my pregnancy test here in this Burger King
you never un-have a 4some
A million fucking miles away, and the sun still manages to fuck my hungover mornings up.
I accidentally made jungle juice last night.
Well it was okay until he pinned my arms over my head and I found the loaded pistol tucked behind the bed... THIS IS WHY WE DON'T FUCK BOYS IN MONTANA ANYMORE
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