Charged a drink to your name last night. Thanks for the whiskey
planned parenthood is perfect for picking up chicks...they all put out
you said the mailboxes were turning into babies and they started crawling away. then you cried and asked me how you were gonna get your college acceptance letters
OMFG BINX FROM HOCUS POCUS IS MCGEE IN NCIS!!!!!!!! most. epic. realization. ever.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
im kinda looking forward to winter break. ive been away from home for so long i think i can trick my vagina into thinking that these arent the same people ive been hooking up with since high school...
He got me an interview at his law firm and his boss asked him what he had to say about me. His response "He dates CRAZY bitches."
how did i get to the car and why are my shoes broken
He said I was trying to make the bouncer dance with me AS he was throwing me out
For my 21st birthday, I require a kiddy pool filled with vodka. Make it so.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just so you know, this text is a buffer between the two guys I'm sexting. Can't get that shit messed up.
Smoked Hookah in the playhouse last night. Childhood was so fun.
I'm sending you the three minute video I jus took,....it's of me eating a pear up close
My mom added me on Snapchat which means I am officially done with Snapchat.
I need a pedicure
You need to go to planned parenthood
My sister can't give you a handjob and us still be bros.
Randomize