i kept saying "bloody hell" in a ron weasley accent until i forcibly told myself to shut up
Can someone please explain to me why I woke up looking like Ziggy Stardust
Keeping my bail papers as a souvenir from when I was arrested. Too weird?
Seriously man, I'm worried that my dick's going to fall off someday if I keep this up...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i just found out the cashier has a picture of my junk in her phone.
I still can't believe he turned down that threesome with us in central park. He must be really committed.
Is it appropriate to put "Mommy and Daddys shitfaced-ness that led to Aubrey" on a birth announcement?
Well you two just had a kid in the middle of college, I dont think anyone will notice.
Thanks bro
Guy hitting on me at bar is guy who's Craigslist ad we laughed at the other night. Not even kidding.
I sincerely thought making it to McDonalds by 10:00am was a shoe-in but it appears that I need to adjust my zoom when looking at the map before walking to places.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Still dying that you shit outside
I found a blow up pig at an adult store. He will have to fuck that on video if he wants anal. Also, I bought a pair of clear high heels. Tell your brother I love him.
In local news "Man Stabbed With Golf Club" next person who tells me this is a safe place to live gets punched...
I'm determined to sit on that face.
Of course he's seen my tits, I wave those things around like a trump supporter does an American flag
I think I gave a random lady a dildo
Again?!
Randomize