so ur a construction worker, male escort, sex god and surfer? lol
well its been awhile since I've surfed
sitting in room practicing taking shots. has my life come to this?
come over. we are watching hoarders and playing i spy.
She threw her promise ring on the ground, that's when the freak came out.
Can we ask the Hungry Howie's guy to pick up some blunt wraps on the way over?
FYI the landlord called and plumbers will be tearing up the bathroom tomorrow. Apparently the tub is leaking into the apt below us so be sure to pee in the shower today.
Repeat the weekend mantra. "I like boys with teeth, I need boys with teeth, I deserve boys with teeth, I will have boys with teeth".
I don't understand how 5 bottles of booze became normal or acceptable per 2.5 people
As a plus, I've lost 5 pounds in two days, so "party all weekend" is officially a valid diet plan.
So what if you don't want to be with your family. Go drink alone and watch Netflix like a normal person, don't be productive!
Just found out that the guy I lost my virginity to voted for Gary Johnson. It's almost more upsetting then him ending up being a massive asshole.
You still owe me one bodily function mess clean up.
You pee on the floor one time and you never hear the end of it...
I have vodka, fruit gushers, and health insurance. Let's party.
He's asking how tall I am he wants to make a body suit out of me
FUCK ME I smuggled weed onto a plane by accident
Randomize
