my penis says it needs to be in something. my phonebook says its you
she called me a fuckfaceshitdick. not that's creative. it sounds like a crayola crayon, preferrably an orange-brown shade.
Changed my mind. Wearing a dress. Casual, with a side of breasts.
relax...and go to your happy place, which probably has a lot of dicks
Everytime I am with a guy I hope his penis is as big as yours. It never is. Thanks for setting that bar.
i feel like i am carryihg a baby. a baby made of alcohol.
It's a pretty amazing thing to watch... He used "Rad tits" as his pick up line of the night. And it worked... 3 times
Oh I love our desires, it's riding my bike at 2 AM with a massive erection that I dislike.
that's all we do, eat and hve sex, eat and have sex. he thinks it's bad and that we need to talk more or whatever but I'm just not seeing the problem...
Well. I went to a frat party where they mixed gin and Mountain Dew. My kingdom for some olives and vermouth.
He didn't even realize I was drunk. He probably just thought I loved Torchwood so much that I no longer knew how to use my thumbs
THIS IS A TERRIBLE REWARD FOR NOT GETTING PREGNANT.
I should not be allowed to be in possession of a fifth and a phone at the same time.
He was so energetic. It was like screwing a bunny.
Drank vodka clubs for 6 hours last night. Holy shit just realized that.
Randomize
