Thats about the time I should have known you would run around naked and try to make out with my sleeping mother
This pizza tastes like mashed potatoes. HOW HIGH DO YOU THINK I AM?
He DELETED brick breaker off his blackberry why even bother trying to find something in common?
I found a picture of my kindergarten class. Now you can see whose peer pressure I succumbed to.
The guy that just projectile vomited over the balcony is now going down to find the pill he just puked up. He said he wasn't about to waste $15.
Word is he has some crazy hawaiian STD
I love being high. The owl outside stopped who-ing and I could swear I just heard someone say, "Okay, that's a wrap!"
I'm still pretty drunk right now, but when this hangover hits me, I'm going to be super pissed. It's a preemptive never drinking again.
I was puking in the bathroom when my fake tooth fell off of my retainer so I just walked out of the bar and didn't say goodbye to my date
So did I or did I not flash an entire concert last night?
My dick has a subreddit
I was actually kind of excited. I mean, how many people can say they've been question by the CIA?
I'm sorry for chipping my tooth on your vagina last night :(
The only reason you haven't shit yourself yet is because you don't like having fun.
I don't know how I managed to chip the inside of my tooth w/ a turkey and cheeto sandwich, but I think that's what happened.
I'm sorry, a turkey and WHAT sandwich?!?!
Randomize
