we're chasing vodka with high fives
Just saw a group of asian tourists in safari outifts bow in thanks to the starbucks guys. And no Im not high.
All I'm saying is that she needs to invest in some razors. But her head game is great. The pros and cons in last minute hook-ups
Do you ever wonder how many people have prayed for you to be a better person?
It just gets louder and louder too...dear god. Her poor vagina.
I'm trying on my bridesmaid dress so that I can determine what will need to be done to achieve getting fucked while wearing it.
Alright, my brain isn't sure how to properly function on a Wednesday with no hangover and more than 3 hours of sleep.
so the x-ray technician didnt buy my story of falling off a curb. she said a fall of that height couldnt snap the bone that way. bitch called me a drunken idiot too. if she wasnt so hot i'd be angry
I miss you more than I would miss junk food if I went on a diet. And you've seen me eat, you know how desperate I'd be.
She screamed at us, "You guys need to wake up and smell the beer-bong!"
who was i chillin with last night? i woke up in a storage unit
I'm not allowed to have sex with him again. My vagina joined in on the protest. There was a petition. All my body parts signed it.
Are you coming down for 4/20 or does Easter kinda fuck that up for you?
I just wanna suck his dick on my balcony ya know
Its weird to introduce me to his wife and kids on the first date, right?
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