Quoting wale wont save you from herpes
so looking at the guys i've dated i feel my vag is a halfway house
i just jacked off to lindsey vonn, i feel so patriotic
USA! USA! USA!
"Guy Time" translaed into 10 shots apiece and me waking up covered in my own blood.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Remind me if I threw up on you last night or if that was just a dream.
im seconds away from chugging that vodka and preforming the surgery on myself.
Holy fuck, spaghetti burritos are the best idea I've ever had.
There has to be a way to make college graduation in Las Vegas different than any other Tuesday in Las Vegas. Strippers? Been there. Getting arrested for public indecency on the strip? Done that.
I love birth control. How's that for a Facebook status on valentines day.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
how many people can say they bit their tattoo off?
THEIR PENISES MATCH. I JUST REALISED THAT. THEY HAVE IDENTICAL DICKS. OH GOD.
Come over. We're getting stoned and watching DogTV
Judging by his bulge. This guy is going home with me. Who doesn't want a dick that looks like it used to be a pillar in Rome.
never stay at a party until 5am. even if it's because of daylight savings. we ended up having to watch porn with the host's dad...
I swear I get as excited about the sound of a condom wrapper as my cat gets when she's getting a can of food.
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