508, what difference does it make? You were alone, anyway.
me texting you is like we have secret walkie talkies.
i wanna make it FB official so he cant fuck anyone else. but that means i can't fuck anyone else either. CONUNDRUM
For the amount I put out, I should be going on way more dates.
Having drunken flash backs of me giving you a piggy back ride. I was like Jesus, and you were my cross. I fell so many times for you. This is true friendship.
I'm a little nervous about this St. Patty's Day party. Seriously, we're still finding stuff from the Halloween party.
At the drs she looked at my back saw your scratch marks and asked "does your back itch a lot?"
I found him on the floor in the kitchen eating cheese and tomato. I mean a block of cheese and whole tomatoes, he was alternating. Thats why your cheese has teeth marks.
It's like everything I need in life within a five block radius: booze, toilets, dogs, dicks.
Just cried because I'm out of oreos. This post-molly depression can go fuck itself.
I know but we're going to blackout city so it'll probably be warm there
the insurance claim form from last night says foreign object removal from genitourinary tract so as far as the insurance company knows, it could have been a gerbil
I told the border patrol officer she was smuggling drugs in her ass. I doubt she cheats on me again.
I think my liver just tried to kill me, we need to slow down
She's dancing around licking a fork of nutella. She is not sober.
Randomize
