Some guy with no shirt on and his pants undone informed us he was kicked out of the cab
I asked him why, and he had absolutely no idea.
I couldn't deal, she's a vegetarian. Every woman should like a little meat in their mouths.
Alex, there's no such thing as a fancy sex store.
I was so drunk last night that I went into my 15 year old sisters room to have her peer edit the drunk texts I was sending to my ex.
You were chewing up hot dogs and spitting them out
Absolutely. Last time I signed up for a softball league I had sex with my high school economics teacher.
she was stripping to whiskey lullaby. most depressed boner.
Let me stew on this while im plucking my nipple hairs and showering.
I have a LOT of reasons to worry about radical feminists taking my lady balls, frankly. A lot.
Jailed a totally belligerent hot guy. That was probably my most thorough pat down. Ever.
It was at the same house, but a different party, when lesbians set me on fire. So there's that.
He fucked me so hard my nail polish actually chipped. I'm keeping him.
And then I remembered we banged to Beethoven & I was like you will never get this ass again
Slap a cop in the butt for a felony charge. Check.
Is someone on their way here yet? I'm way too tweaked to be here alone
Randomize
