i need an iv and a liver transplant
his balls ACTUALLY tasted like nuts
even my worst enemy doesn't deserve a bush like that
I decided to follow my clitoris instead of my heart.
how did i get to the car and why are my shoes broken
Just puked off the 5th floor onto a car windshield. This is my life and I'm proud of it.
I may have to marry her. She is smarter than me and has a six figure job and doesn't want to have kids. All I have to be is a trophy husband.
I'm high and dancing to practical magic. Your needs for my penis can wait.
So when's a good time this week to show up at your apartment in nothing but a trench coat and a bow? Y'know. Hypothetically.
We just broke my bed mid-sex, laughed, then continued. If that isn't true love I don't know what is.
Well sort of got busted by a cop while having sex outside, so your call
BABE I MISS YOU SO MUCH LIKE THE SADNESS OVERWHELMS BONER ABILITY
What's the best way to tell a guy he can call me when his impending divorce is finalized?
Hi. I have frying pans taped to my feet. I achave to go the hospital, theyre on pretty tight. Can't feel legs bring me juice
so i went over to her house and we played crash bandicoot, ate calzones, and had sex all day. im in love.
Randomize
