If I had a sex resume I'd get tons of jobs.
Theres this fat girl in desperate need of the proactive factory in my class and as i watch her shovel food in her face I am struggling to not only keep down my meager lunch but also to stay straight. Eliza Dushku couldnt even get my flacid dick to move
the way she shouted out instructions during sex made me feel like I was having sex with my gym teacher
Ive either hit rock bottom or become my own hero.
I don't think its a good idea if I moon a whole bar again
I really wanna talk..
if by talk you mean have nasty makeup sex involving marshmellow fluff.. I'm down
how do i say, "my ex is going to be at this party so don't look like shit" without sounding like a bitch?
Question: Would it be wrong to just fuck both of them and decide who to date one performance of their cocks?
just peed in rthe mens room but seranaeded them with adelle the whole timee so they didnt mind
I woke up to him yelling "WHO SLEEPS WITH A BEER IN THEIR HAND?!?" this of course, startled me awake and made me spill the aforementioned beer. So I guess the a answer is- not this girl, not anymore. Asshole
Yo I found your batman costume.... It was in my pool with a shitload of beer cans
Well I just put wine in my tea
If I learned anything from that one time I saw the last 10 minutes of oprah when they talked about the secret, it is that you project what you receive back. I also have wine.
Well, I'm most mad that he lied to you (about being married)...but the CAT THING IS A CLOSE SECOND
I CAN'T FALL IN LOVE WITH SOMEONE WHO HAS A LISP. I JUST CAN'T.
Randomize
