I hope to God it wasnt poon. That odor was unnatural, it was satanic pussy.
we're drinking boxed wine and eating string cheese. It's like a wine tasting for poor people.
So there is a chick dressed up in a vagina costume handing out free condoms next to the dude handing out free Bibles and preaching about sin. I love college.
he drunkenly pissed himself on the deck, in the bathroom, and on my couch within the span of an hour
its like an avodart commercial...maybe he has a growing problem
No. Especially when my uncle started stripping. Too many shots. So that's where I get that from.
she did 8 shots of vodka. THROUGH A SIPPY STRAW
I have got to meet this girl.
You need to get over here. I think the drunks are about to sacrifice a chicken to the beer gods. Or a freshman. Stay tuned.
Yeah.. I'm sorry I broke your phone. But in my defense you handed me the frying pan.
I guess I'm just gonna have to learn to live with the fact that I'm the guy who takes his pants off at the party and tries to start an orgy
we could do so many fantastic illegal things together. sexually and otherwise.
Ran out of eye drops right after putting them in one eye. Half baked at work.
What do you mean? Just eat his food and have sex with him. Unless you want a relationship, then just eat his food.
Tip of the day: Don't Amazon vibrators when your WHOLE FAMILY uses your prime account. There's dildo after dildo showing up in my "Related to Items You've Viewed" category on the home page.
he just fucked me for my cheese.
In the past year, I've fucked 3 Dave's and you've fucked 2 Dave's. That's a lot of Dave's in our vaginas.
We need to start a soap opera called the Dave's of Our Lives.
Randomize
