i'm so bored i'm watching porn for fun. not even jacking off or anything. just watching.
Is it wrong of me that I wish I could be a midget for a day so I can give head standing up?
since we're both too lazy to go to each others house, you drink there, i'll drink here and we'll skype. it's the same thing.
Oh no it's bring yor chld to work day...I'm too drunk for this
It just gets louder and louder too...dear god. Her poor vagina.
Best dream ever last night. You moved here. Your Spanish name meant highway. Your favorite food was styrofoam.
The George Foreman grill is melted. I don't know what other problems could arise.
Like we just had a bunch of sex and then he threaded my eyebrows in bed lol. It was amazing
Serious question: does drunken cyber sex with a stranger on omegle count as cheating???
Just told myself the phrase "You're not THAT single" while dressing myself
Your first mistake was thinking that you could get through the day without drinking a single bottle of alcohol. Your second mistake was wearing shark boxers.
I smoked too much. I'm sitting on my balcony and I keep getting lost. Help me
The worst thing about buying this extremely comfortable bed is that once I get a girl into it, all she wants to do is sleep. I want my fucking money back.
My ex just brought my grandpa weed. Not sure how I feel about this.
Step one: We finally agreed on an au pair that we both wanna fuck.
Randomize
