thank god random hookups don't end with college. happy birthday, america.
This guy behind me is answering all of her questions. I may give him a lapdance to take my next test for me
you know what its like when everyone is chanting "do it, do it"...still friends?
The arresting officer told me "you probably get this a lot, but you look like anthony kiedis".
I am burnt. Have a black eye. Face dove into the grass and got pissed on. Time of my life. God Bless the USA.
I heard liver failure is in for 2012 anyways
You were in your third change of clothes, and I found you in my driveway passed out with my dog's food bowl. You win.
I flashed some kids doing a church car wash. I feel like I really improved the quality of their lives.
I would not be watching the debate if there wasn't drinking involved. Let's be honest.
Pretty sure I sang "What Makes You Beautiful" to some random guy in a parking lot last night...
Breakfast of champions
Is that a dick crepe?
It is indeed
This dude is trying to sext and all I can think about is taco bell and their new crunch wrap sliders
Ugh it's 2016, why can't our bodies just shed fat on their own
She always used to joke about becoming a stripper. WHO'S FUNNY NOW?!
I just found vampire teeth and a moustache in my purse. do you know why?
Randomize
