Spencer Pratt, I WILL beat the shit out of you someday, I Promise
i could't wear that belt anymore, it was gonna make me keep shitting for the rest of the night
Her sex list was a LOT longer than mine. She tried to justify it by saying '4 of those don't count because they were in the gang bang'.
how bad would it be if i made his twitter my home page?
I feel if a girl leaves my house the next morning feeling degraded and in desparate need of a shower, then I have succeeded.
she acted like she'd never seen someone do speed off of a desk with a rolled up receipt. and she calls herself a grad student.
He just told me he's been drinking vodka at work all day. I'm starting to believe in soul mates.
Twas the night before the bachelor party, and all thru the house...not a creature was stirring, not even a stripper?...
Trustme, don't ever look up when you're giving road head. It's awkward.
I just got head while watching air force one. Harrison ford would be proud.
You are my mentor.
I drank wine out of a protein shake bottle last night. You may want to rethink that statement.
I gave him morning sex, a bag of cookies, and dropped him off at work. I believe I deserve the "best hookup award."
Your cock has been in the back of my throat. Co-worker is no longer a sufficient title. Fix that shit ASAP
Ran into my FWB on my walk of shame and went back to her place. Even my walk of shames are awesome!!!
He said he broke his back in 3 spots & my first thought was "there goes my booty call".
Did u have a 2nd thought
I need a new booty call.
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