Just made ouyt with a dude on the real wporld...I said I dont want my face blired out
Don't you hate it when all three people suddenly sober up in the middle of a threesome. Awwwwkward.
Do you know how hard it is to get cum out of a straw hat!?
his roommates said i can move in if i promise to only drink tequila the rest of the semester. challenge accepted.
OMG bikini contest at the bar. You can see this one chicks scar from her c-section and I'm pretty sure she is the best of the bunch.
ALSO, bringing a stapler to the bar is a good idea
I woke up this morning at 8 to my roommates still drunk, hanging out on the roof, and screaming at bikers. They couldn't figure out why they were into it.
We aren't really supposed to respect our bodies til our mid twenties.
Do you think I need to report to HR that the intern and I had butt sex?
When he was going down on me I referred to him as "Lord Snow" and HE GOT IT. HE GOT THE GAME OF THRONES REFERENCE. I AM IN LOVE
On the plus side, I know I'm allergic to latex now. Like really fucking allergic
Brah, we should get a "do not disturb sign"... I can't have people knocking on the door while I'm high, it fucks with me way too much.
who knew magic tricks and sex would actually go together?
I feel like I shouldn't be left around 30 year olds when I'm drunk
one of my students asked me today if i was having a baby. fuckin 4 year olds and their lack of filter. time to get back to the gym i guess
Randomize
