so I was just driving high and I stopped to let a pinecone cross the road because I thought it was a hedgehog.
I just threw up, I'm either bulemic or pregnant, and I'm now accepting bets on which it is
The foreigner finally woke up and the first thing he did was look up a map of the u.s. His destination is to pennsylvania.
he doesn't drink and he's an emt - he'll be our dd for nye in exchange for a threesome tomorrow afternoon.
well you decided to make everyone "drinks" which was sprite and beer mixed.
Because once my penis is in motion, it stays in motion unless another force acts upon it.
Let's learn from last year: Leave the handcuffs at home on St Patrick's Day.
Well there is another shower in Nov. So I have three months to figure out how to get some drunk space fucking. May need some of your mead
I have the best idea for a new business. It's going to be called "Lamb-Scape". We are going to cut lawns using lambs. You just put 5 or 6 on a lawn and they eat the grass #allnatural
YOU SAID YOU WERE OUT OF POT
..........
I was just hotboxing under my sheets and I got lost on the way out.
It was so scary.
Getting high in the car with mom and the aunts during intermission for drag queen bingo. Details later.
I definitely don't remember licking the drag queens boob.
And then I realized my chick friends consist only of sober you, drunk you and hungover you
she broke the sink..i repeat the sink is off the wall. send help
Tonight is an "I'm lonely and single so I'm going to curl up in a warm, melatonin and vodka enriched ball in the corner of my bed with a cat." kind of night.
Randomize
