she was hot for a redneck and i dont look at teeth
okay I'm thinking he doens't have a facebook...I'm on page 28 of Hunters
ok you need to stop NOW
possible father of this baby just finished his test first in a lecture of 200 people. other possible father finished about 100th.
I'm rooting for #1.
btw, her name was actually Alixx. in retrospect, it was pretty much a gimme
Eventually evolution will just give us a better liver anyway, so our great great grandkids should THANK us for our binge drinking.
Maybe someone other than the mad hatter should have gone with him to the ER
I came home to my brother stoned out of his mind. He got a high score on COD and asked me to have a celebration yogurt with him.
I feel like I'm taking part in a surprise porno. At least my hair looked good.
You're telling me you've never sent a picture of your cock to a girl and then were all like "Oops, sorry, wrong person! By the way...You like?"
Some lady old enough to be our mom took us home, made me eggs and he still got some. Where do I claim my best wingman/sister trophy?
I'll bring your "congrats on finally banging" cookies tomorrow, I'm exhausted.
There is an unwrapped tampon, a condom, a rubber chicken and a slim Jim currently sitting on our dining room table.
I was christened with Fireball shots by some guy at the bar. I'm practically Jesus now.
How does it make you feel that I can't control my vagina around you?
Too high to wash a dish but just high enough for a kitchen fire
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