She's hot, in a Megan Fox with Down's Syndrome kinda way. Like, she'd win Miss Deliverance Pageant
At least she's the hottest one. Oh well, it's all about stats
how many times in life can you be kicked out of a pizza buffet for vomiting on the food and insulting small children
The cops just drove by on their loudspeaker going DO NOT DRINK THE WATAHH
I love boston
you're being stingy. if you didnt want people to have sex on your couch, you shouldve specifically said so.
You told me "I need to pound this drinks if I'm going to pretend his dick is big enough" then left. Dollar night quotes 2012
I sent him this really overly apologetic text asking him out. It was just sad. Not even 27 shots of whiskey can grow me a self-esteem.
NO TEQUILA
Why do I always think it's a good idea? Like a challenge? Shit maybe I should CHALLEGE myself to get laid for once instead
the police report says i screamed sanctuary from a jungle gym at the playground when they caught up with us, obviously they disregarded international law.
I hope you get stoned and think that you're a seal in shark infested waters
how I know last night was a good night: this morning I found a bottle of tapatio, a bag of chicken and a bag of popcorn in my purse.
He had a clap on lamp. So every time he was ramming into me, the lights kept turning on and off
He had a hook in his ceiling. I think I'm in love!
And now, by the power vested in me by the state of intoxication, I now pronounce you fucking awesome.
Had to clear my browser history. I figured if she used the search bar and her name came up, it might be a little creepy.
So. Um. Hypothetically speaking...how would one get a squirrel out of the house?
Randomize
