Raise your hand if you bought 2 annoying girls shots of water. CLOWNS.
So I just passed a billboard for "Risque Cafe: Good food and topless women". Fuck. I love SC.
I just watched the Dark knight, Maggie Gylennhaal looks like Katie Holmes after a stroke
i just peed out my two story window using my cell phone as a flashlight . hope the neighbors didnt see
I have decided to cut my hair. This is based solely on the fact there is too much of it to clean vomit out every Sunday afternoon.
Just had a nice conversation with my landlord while cleaning your puke off my car
You were mounting an escalator last night, shouting "I have no health insurance" at people
He gets a blow job; I get my oil changed free of charge. And that way I only see him every 2500 miles.
I drunkenly transformed into shehulk last night and lifted every single guy off the ground bc one guy told me that there was no way I was strong enough. Don't worry, I proved them wrong. Stupid stereotypical men.
Was it just me or did you also find it awkward when "glad you came" started playing on pandora right after you finished?
Side note: Hot guys are now getting with ugly chicks. Alert the media.
Why can't he just dump me? This is like a baby seal clubbing the hunter
Do you think it would be weird to add her on Facebook?
You just commited a felony act together, I honestly think we're beyond this.
We left an ass print on the conference room table, but I don’t think anyone caught on
I think I broke my dick but 10/10 would definitely do it again.
Randomize
