she just waddled down the stairs behind me and puked and kind of reached for me but i sped up. does that make me a bad person?
Rosebud was a fucking sled. Gay.
Most awkward thing ever: Meeting your BattleShits opponent post war.
Just to give you a heads up, I am going home with your ex-boyfriend.... You can't be mad because he was my ex-boyfriend first
You are softly singing to the wall while slow dancing with it. I feel as though you should discontinue this behavior.
he's hot he just has too much baggage, and has really fucking skinny ankles which freaks me out
you aren't having sex with his ankles, As long as knee caps and above are good, i'd go for it
Totally passed out on the dealers bed after paying him all in ones so no, i dont think i'll be getting a discount soon.
Some girl took her panties off, soaked them in vodka and wrung them out into a line of guys' mouths! Awesome!
No, NOT awesome. Where the fuck do you go drinking!?!
I have no idea. He was just running around wearing a horse mask yelling "bumfuck" repeatedly. We figured we'd just let him get it out of his system.
There has been a song made about you fucking his roommate.
It's destiny.
Just convinced a housekeeper at work to set up her 401k. Gotta start hittin the gb every morning before work. Happy 420
Yes. I am out of condoms. I kept filling them with glow paint and playing with them when I was on mushrooms, which resulted in me having unprotected sex last weekend
Is there ever a non-asshole time to play the "I was a child prodigy" card?
You have not lived until you've slid down a waterfall fucked out of your mind. Fact.
I am now banned from the bar... Because you got head from my ex in the woman's restroom
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